"That breeze September night..."

I know, I know.
I suck at keeping promises.
I suck at commitments, but hey, what's new?

*shrugs*

I've been doing a lot of pondering session these past few months; mostly to figure out where the hell should I go from here.
I haven't exactly finished my S1 yet, but the future is looming and it's time for me to face it.
Yesterday, I received a news that an old friend had gotten into Leiden University. I almost cried because I know how much it means to her; getting into Leiden University had been her longtime dream; probably longer than I know her. And she's not having it easy either; she took one of the most under-estimated majors in the country, proceed to graduate and working a few jobs that didn't really fit her before the acceptance later came in.
And I'm so, so proud of being her friend.

...and yes, that takes me to the question: will I achieve her level?

Will I get into Melbourne University with my own efforts?
Will I finally able to figure out my path?

You know,
I'm used to people look at me and say,"you'll have great things in store for you."
But never once I believe what they said simply because I feel like I haven't learned much of anything. I love to learn, but the thought of having to pass an exam just to prove the things I've learned doesn't really suit me. Writing a long-ass & painful research just to prove that I've learned this much suffocates me, and I wonder where can I learn things without having to write papers and taking exams just to prove that yes, I've learned all of those and I understood.

All of this future business is too confusing.
I see people my age has reached much, much higher levels and I don't know if I could.
I have my set of dreams, of course, but I never dream big because truthfully, I don't aim for greatness.
I aim for happiness and self-contentment.

It seems a lot more simpler than other people's great ambitions, but I find it harder to fulfill, more than anything else...