You don't know this now but there's some things that need to be said
And it's all that I can hear, It's more than I can bare
What if I fall and hurt myself?
Would you know how to fix me
What if I went and lost myself?
Would you know where to find me
If I forgot who I am,
Would you please remind me?
Cause without you things go hazy
It's been raining a lot these past few days.
How are you?
If I wasn't such a trainwreck I'd probably tell you about these dreams I've been having lately.
They're nothing big, though. Those dreams mostly consist of me talking to you. I guess I miss you that much.
I don't know if you ever read this but thank you for the comfortable silence. Now that I'm detaching myself from you, I lose that kind of privilege. Silence has never been comfortable anymore without you around.
Silence keeps reminding me that pushing you away will always be something I regret.
I hope I can bring myself to a better place by doing that. And I hope you can do that to yourself too.
Looking back I realize that I'd never have to worry about myself with you. Because you break my fall every time. You take care of me in ways nobody ever could. You're such a good best friend that it hurts to keep you in the dark.
...But I do realize that what we have (or had), isn't something healthy. While it's fun and comfortable, I depend myself on you too much. You're not supposed to be my everything, but I made you and it's terrifying because I need to stand on my own two feet. With you always around, I'd always seek for your help. And eventually I know it's going to be tiring for you, so for now I'm taking a step back.
And with that being said,
I'm sorry for not being there these days and leaving abruptly. I'm sorry for always being that troubling best friend that you have to pick up along the way and halt your journey. I hope we can see each other in a better light someday.
But until then, please take care. Or find somebody who will. You deserve one.
...But I do realize that what we have (or had), isn't something healthy. While it's fun and comfortable, I depend myself on you too much. You're not supposed to be my everything, but I made you and it's terrifying because I need to stand on my own two feet. With you always around, I'd always seek for your help. And eventually I know it's going to be tiring for you, so for now I'm taking a step back.
And with that being said,
I'm sorry for not being there these days and leaving abruptly. I'm sorry for always being that troubling best friend that you have to pick up along the way and halt your journey. I hope we can see each other in a better light someday.
But until then, please take care. Or find somebody who will. You deserve one.
P.S.:
I stopped reading manga and watching anime because all those series remind me of you. And it sucks because all I want to do was to text you about them whenever someone updates me about those series.
But it's fine, I deserve that.
But it's fine, I deserve that.
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